Keenan’s Weekly Rants, Raves & Revelries – Come Correctly – 2/1/08

So, last week I ran a piece from my brethren, Ghostwriter BajanKinch, well that piece was in response to a piece written by a young lady we’ll call Ghostwriter JessJ. It’s a long piece so, just like last week, make sure you click through to read it all. JessJ calls this one: Come Correctly: She Said (part 1)

The secret to winning an all-season boo

If you’re a female – and you’re breathing – chances are you’ve been the victim of a holla. (By holla we mean a frivolous, and often failed, attempt of a guy to “get at” a girl with annoying one-liners like “Hey little mama you look good,” “What yo’ name is?” or “Can I get in them jeans?”) A lady can’t even walk down the street without someone from the male gender bombarding her with this nonsense. Let’s be real. Do males really think these tired lines work on women? After the classic, “Dannnnnng mommy you look good! Can I get yo’ number?” do you envision us replying with: “Aww, really? Yes; I always knew you were the one?” (For the record, if she is not your mom, she probably doesn’t like you calling her mommy, either.) Better yet, after you see us walking down the street and you whistle out the window of your souped up bucket, do you expect us to hijack the next biker we see and peddle after you in an attempt to follow-up? Take a minute and think to yourself: has this childish behavior ever really worked?

I didn’t think so.

And if you are continuing to justify your actions with that single incident last year when it was successful, you’re way off. The one girl who did respond to your ridiculousness was either a.) insecure b) desperate c) tacky/hood d) carrying an STD or e) all of the above. If this is what you want, then go for it – but if not, listen up. In an effort to stop the madness, and maybe even prompt a connection, I have come up with a handy list on how to get the attention of a classy lady.

DON’T RUSH IT
This is perhaps the most important step. Take a minute. Be easy. What’s the rush? Spend a few minutes asking the girl some questions about herself. And if you are seeing her on a regular basis (i.e. school or work) don’t holla at her the first time you approach her. Act like you just want to get to know her and the holla simply ensued because, upon getting to know her, you liked what you saw (not because you thought she was cute).

BE ORIGINAL
Steer clear of the cliché questions like, “Where are you from?” and “What do you like to do for fun?” The city that you are both in is probably the same city she is from. Half of the time you don’t even know what you mean by that question. I often find myself having to give a hefty-and pointless-explanation when a guy asks me where I’m from. More often than not, he means “Do you reside here?” not “Where were you born?” See it’s confusing even explaining it. Also, the “What do you like to do for fun?” question is just as unavailing. What do you mean what do we like to do for fun? The same things everyone does: hang out with friends, go to the movies, travel, shower, read, and occasionally stare at the wall. Not joking.

As I said there’s more to this one but, it’s a bit much to read in your email so, if you wanna keep reading just follow this link:
http://keenansrantsandraves.com/2008/02/come-correctly.html

It’s a month strong and Vivid at Opus 22 is looking like it’s here to stay. You gotta love a party that got nothing else around it. That way you know that when it’s poppin’ in there, everybody came for the same reason. They didn’t just walk by randomly and they don’t got plans to be going anywhere else! Don’t nobody be walking up the Westside highway looking for parties! Vivid at Opus 22 is a destination and apparently it’s the destination of many. You already know, hit me for the list or just meet me at 22nd and 11th tonight!

Keenan “I Come So Correct You Can Mark My Words Like Proofreaders” Davis